Why Resolutions Fail & How to Create Lasting Change

Every January, millions of people set ambitious New Year's resolutions: lose weight, move more, eat healthier, stress less. Yet by late January or early February, many of these well intended health goals have fallen to the wayside.  

Why does this happen? The truth is, most of us try to change our behaviors without addressing the underlying beliefs and thought patterns that drive them. These deep-seated beliefs, often formed long ago, operate on a subconscious level, influencing our choices and actions without our conscious awareness. Imagine trying to paddle a canoe upstream. That's what it's like to change your habits while your subconscious mind is pulling you in the opposite direction. 

Making sustainable changes by willpower alone, without examining your subconscious beliefs, is extremely difficult because 95% of the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that shape our outcomes operate beneath the surface (subconscious mind), silently influencing what we do and don’t do..

True transformation starts when you bring these patterns to the light of day and consciously reframe and update them.  

For example, you may be unaware of limiting beliefs like: 

• “Taking time for myself is selfish." 
• "I’ll never be good at sticking to any healthy routine.”
• “I don't have the time to take care of my health.”
• "I'll never get out of this pain, what's the point of trying?"
• “I don’t deserve to prioritize myself.”

Sound familiar? 

If lasting change is what you desire, instead of focusing solely on external goals, let's shift our focus inward. 

• Identify Limiting Beliefs:
  • What stories do you tell yourself about your ability to change? 
  • Do you believe you're "not disciplined enough" or "lack willpower"? 
  • What thoughts or emotions come up when you try to make changes?
  • What limiting beliefs got in your way last year to you achieveing your health goals?"

• Reframe Your Inner Dialogue:
  • Shift "It is selfish to take care of myself" to "Taking time for myself allows me to be a better parent, partner, friend, collegue."
  • Replace “I’m not disciplined” with “I’m capable of building new small and consistent healthy habits.”
  • Reframe "I do not have time" to "My health and well-being are important to me so I will find ways to work it into my schedule."
  • Adopt the mindset of "failure isn't possible if I keep going. I commit to learning from my mistakes." 

• Cultivate Self-Compassion:
  • Acknowledge that progress isn't linear and setbacks are inevitable. 
  • Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you stumble. Get curious about what came up that may have derailed your progress.
  • Celebrate small wins. 
  • Learn from your experiences and use them as opportunities for growth. 

This year, let's cultivate healthier habits by: 

• Setting intentions: Focus on how you want to feel (e.g., energized, strong, confident, peaceful) rather than just specific outcomes. 
• Going deeper: Commit to understanding the deeper drivers of your actions and how they influence your progress.  
• Building sustainable habits: Set yourself up for success with setting small and very achieveable goals. If you desire to swim 3 days a week, start with 1 and build up from there.   
• Find your tribe: Support is key to making sustainable lifestlye changes. Find a friend, join a group, like the Vitality Community, or hire a coach to improve accountability, social connection and fun.

Lasting transformation begins with inner work. By exploring your subconscious beliefs, you can build a foundation for sustainable health and well-being.